Hyperfemininity on Tik-Tok: Two Sides of the Same Coin?
Where bimbos and trad wives meet
—Kailey Lashbrook
“TikTok has really made me think about what it means to be a woman and what that looks like for me,” shares “Katie”, a UMich junior studying Biology. While scrolling through the For You Page, many women will encounter a variety of influencers speaking about how their idea of femininity impacts their lifestyle choices. And, almost inevitably, videos of influencers engaging in hyperfeminine lifestyles will surface.
These videos often have thousands of likes, and comments ranging from praise to utter disgust. Yet, the creators behind these videos are unapologetically feminine, aligning their appearances and attitudes with characteristics once deemed patriarchal. Interestingly, it appears that hyperfemininity has largely been interpreted in two different ways: trad wives/stay-at-home girlfriends and bimbos. While trad wives and stay-at-home girlfriends align more closely with traditional views of women, there is no doubt that they are stereotypically feminine. So-called “bimbos,” on the other hand, take a more liberal approach to hyperfemininity, focusing on materialism, sexuality, and an appreciation for pink.
These two seemingly polarized groups share a genuine desire to be a “girly” girl, at least according to current societal standards. Yet, politicalization of these movements work to divide women amongst themselves.
Trad wives and stay-at-home girlfriends
On one end of the spectrum, there are the thousands of influencers who share their more traditional, conservative lifestyle on TikTok. This group of women often label themselves as trad wives for stay-at-home girlfriends. Kathryn Jezer-Morton, a columnist for the Cut, explains to NPR podcaster Ayesha Rascoe, “The trad-wife is eerily perfect. Her home is spotless. Her makeup is on-point…. She’s straight out of a 1950s sitcom.” A trad-wife financially relies on their spouse, while being responsible for cooking, cleaning, and maintenance of the home. Similarly, a stay-at-home girlfriend, or SAHG, is financially dependent on their partner, while taking care of domestic matters.
Trad-Wife influencers, such as @BallerinaFarm, post short videos of their lives on TikTok showing them caring for their children and cooking meals from scratch. Meanwhile, SAHG influencers such as @KendelKay and @aliyahwears make videos of themselves shopping, relaxing at home, and doing small things for their partners, such as making coffee. While both sets of women are the primary caregivers for their home, the difference often lies in their marital status. As the name suggests, SAHG are girlfriends, while trad wives are typically married women. Furthermore, it is common to see trad wives taking on additional responsibility due to the presence of children.
For many TikTok users, however, the SAHG content is more digestible, with female commentators frequently probing the creator for how they “achieved this lifestyle” or “found this type of man”. On the other hand, commenters criticize trad-wife content, expressing their distaste for the homemaker lifestyle. Perhaps, this is because SAHGs are not legally-bound to their partner, and are seen as “using” the men in their lives while trad wives are seen as being used. “Leah”, a UMich sophomore majoring in English, shares this sentiment: “When I see SAHG content, I often praise the women and am sometimes envious of their life. But when I see trad-wife content, it puts a sour taste in my mouth, I don’t know why I find one more offensive than the other. I guess at the end of the day they share a lot of the same ideas.”
The main critique of the trad-wife lifestyle is that it sets feminist movements back. The most common opposition to this movement is the belief that these women lack freedom. Monica S., in an article on Medium, recalls the lived experience of her mother, “My mom didn’t really have a choice to go to work because one of my brothers grew up extremely disabled.” She notes that her mother later returned to work and her father was supportive, but this is not always the case.
In a variety of situations, there are situations where women are forced into a traditional lifestyle. However, Jezer-Morton offers a contrasting opinion, that the trad-wife movement doesn’t pose a threat to modern-day feminism. She counters, “I’m not sure that seeing this kind of content is going to make someone who already feels secure in their feminist identity insecure. I think it might be a bit of a confusing influence for younger women. I think that might be more where the risk lies. But I think it’s more that it divides women among ourselves.”
For younger girls, who might spend a significant amount of time on TikTok, exposure to this type of content could be harmful. However, for adult women, these videos do not necessarily pose an active threat to their identity. Instead, UMich professor Dr. Sheila Murphy contends that TikTok is a platform that can be used to recirculate dated trends, such as the 50s housewife. She notes, “Some scholars have theorized that digital media inherently reworks older media forms, remixing them and recirculating them…. There’s also a darker side, which Trad Wife content fits into, when norms of femininity are being reworked and, in that instance, women are expressing a desire to nostalgically reassert a subservient kind of femininity.”
It is important to consider choice in these instances. On TikTok, this population of women do not desire formal schooling or to be involved in the workforce and elect to live a more “traditional lifestyle.” In the Psychology of Women Quarterly, Jessica Good and Diana Sanchez explore the idea of autonomous versus pressured behaviors. Their findings show that autonomous motivation for gender-consistent behaviors was associated with a positive increase in self-esteem. Yet, pressured conformity is associated with negative self-esteem. While many commenters support the idea that these women have a right to choose how they want to live their life, it has become somewhat political. Trad-wives/SAHG are almost seen as the conservative ideal of a woman. Many TikTok users see these women’s videos as promoting a conservative agenda, even if they do not explicitly make their political affiliation known in their videos.
Bimbofication
While sharing a fondness for all things feminine, self-proclaimed “bimbos” are markedly different from trad-wives/SAHG. This group of people are outwardly feminine, but use this femininity as a tool of liberation against patriarchal standards. The term “bimbo” has been used to label women for decades. Historically, bimbos have been described as women who were conventionally attractive, but unintelligent. It has been used by both men and women alike to degrade and discount the achievements of certain women. However, there is a subset of TikTok users who have sought out to reclaim the word “bimbo.” Modern-day “bimbos” focus on self-love and celebrating hyperfemininity. In a Byrdie article, content creator Fiona Fairbairn describes bimbofication as, “being hot, believing you’re hot, and not overthinking or thinking at all.”
Self-proclaimed “bimbos” commonly take inspiration from the fashion and attitudes of 2000’s icons such as Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Anna Nicole Smith and fictional characters Elle Woods, Sharpay Evans, and Regina George. These women were undeniably confident, unbothered, and hyperfeminine. However, they also received criticism for their perceived lack of intelligence. With their pink, fitted, and sometimes revealing outfits, alongside their self-assured attitudes, they serve as the template for new-age “bimbos.”
Today, the movement has expanded beyond the “dumb blonde trope” and includes any and everyone looking to embrace the “bimbo” attitude. This includes individuals who do not identify as women. Chrissy Chalpecka, a bimbo influencer, adds that being a bimbo is more about self-love and liberation. She also makes it clear that while many “bimbos” are aware of current events and advocate for issues they feel strongly about. “Katie”, a UMich junior, agrees “When I first saw this trend emerge on TikTok I was unsure about it because I had always viewed being a bimbo as a bad thing. But as I watched more content I realized it is more about loving yourself and loving how you look and I think that’s pretty cool.”
This movement appears to be a direct response to the stigmatization of hyperfeminine women. In the journal Susastra, Melanie Rosaria and Andika Wijaya describe this phenomenon: “This stigmatization not only devalues femininity but also reinforces the notion that women who embrace their femininity are less deserving of respect.” The “bimbo” subculture pushes back on the idea that self-expression should be limited, and that masculine traits are more desirable. Bimbofication serves as a method of empowerment, showcasing to other women on TikTok that hyperfemininity is a valid choice of self-expression. “Leah”, a UMich sophomore, adds, “I like watching bimbo content. It has made me feel better about being girly. I used to be apprehensive about dressing super feminine especially in academic and professional spaces. I’m way more confident in my womanhood now.”
TikTok has been the primary social media platform to promote this movement. There are thousands of videos under the hashtag #bimbotok where many creators have made videos that have spread and popularized bimbofication. Dr. Murphy, adds “New media platforms offer users an opportunity to share their takes on media and popular culture, to discuss trends with other users, to form fan communities, share content, and buy stuff. In fact, platforms invite users to share, which allows conversations about popular culture to spread widely while also producing user data that those platforms gather and monetize.” In Identities and Intimacies on Social Media, AP Pierce further explains, “TikTok can be thought of as a networked aesthetic, affective and political community, with the circulation of these different investments mobilized and connected via the infrastructure of TikTok.” In the case of bimbofication, TikTok has served as a platform for this aesthetic, and the ideas that accompany it, to spread and reach new audiences.
However, there has been criticism of this movement as some individuals believe it is not as inclusive as it may seem. There are many hidden costs associated with bimbofication, including expensive makeup, skincare treatments, clothing, and even plastic surgery. This makes participation in this trend contingent on how much money someone has. Additionally, the use of TikTok to promote bimbofication can also be limiting. Despite the intention of “bimbo” creators, says Kaityln Maura, a writer at Medium, “TikTok is much like Abercrombie in the sense that they only want “pretty” people to be visible on their platform.” Many users will only see skinny and light-skinned creators on their ForYou page because of the TikTok algorithm. Indeed, TikTok moderators have admitted to suppressing the content of creators who are not conventionally attractive. This perpetuates the patriarchal standards on beauty that this movement tries to fight against.
Feminine Feminism
Hyperfemininity has been used as a tool and a barrier to fourth-wave feminism, which commonly uses the internet to empower women. TikTok bimbofication makes use of “lipstick feminism,” in which women are able to gain confidence by embracing traditional displays of femininity. In this form of feminism, clothes and makeup are used as tools of empowerment against the patriarchy. A prime example of this can be seen in the release of and response to the Barbie movie. Barbie uses the color pink and hyperfeminism to demonstrate the limitless capabilities of women. In response, many audience members have embraced the color pink and their own womanhood by being unapologetically feminine. This could be seen in the 2017 Women’s March in which many women elected to wear a hot pink “pussyhat” as a way to reclaim their femininity. Trad-wives/SAHG seem to move in the opposite direction by submitting to patriarchal ideals of women. Hyperfemininity, in this movement, seems to be used as a form of oppression.
While these opposing groups seem to have a deep appreciation for hyperfemininity, they have negative views of each other. trad wives often view bimbos as “man-hating leftists.” Bimbos see trad-wives/SAHGs as “anti-feminist patriarchal pawns.” This mutual distaste for each other works to divide women. In a survey conducted by Pew Research Center, 75% of Democrat or Democrat-leaning women identify themselves as feminists, while only 42% of Republican or Republican-leaning women do. These divisions are reflected in both the bimbo and trad-wife movements on TikTok, polarizing users, effectively working to create partitions between different communities on the platform.
For this reason, users should approach this type of content cautiously. Users can simply scroll past content they do not wish to view. It should be acknowledged that feminism as a whole is about choice. Ultimately, it is up to the creators on how they choose to live their own lives.
“Katie” concludes “TikTok has shown me there are so many different ways to be a woman. It looks different for everyone and that’s okay.”
Feature Photo: by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash