Becoming “That Girl”
“That girl” is not what she seems
—By Claire Schneider
Every morning I wake up early, workout, journal, and make a healthy breakfast. My life is totally put together, for the two days after I see a TikTok of how perfectly life works for an influencer online. It must be her routine, and now that she’s giving me a 30-second step-by-step of how to be my best self my whole life will transform. Right?
While TikTok is no longer the new, up and coming social media app it was a year ago, it still has a major influence on younger generations. Every time you open that app you can’t guess what to expect, as different trends ebb and flow in and out of popularity. However, some trends have a more lasting impact. A popular movement that managed to avoid obsolescence involves becoming the best version of yourself. Inspiring right? Well, only if that best version of yourself wakes up at the crack of dawn every day, puts on a matching workout set, eats the healthiest breakfast humankind has ever seen, and has the most productive day imaginable all while looking stunning doing it. Becoming “that girl” has quickly become one of the most talked about lifestyles on the app.
Who exactly is “that” girl
This trend is a little different from the trends that normally have a short-lived popularity on TikTok. From a quick TikTok search, the initial appeal is that people like “that girl.” She’s put together, productive, and everyone likes her. The archetype inspires people to get their s*** together and look perfect doing it. However being naturally and effortlessly perfect and organized isn’t easy. “That girl” wakes up early, usually around seven to get a good start to the day. They then throw on an aesthetic workout set followed by workout and a healthy breakfast, usually something plant based. Some meditative journaling normally comes after while still making time to have a full time corporate career, a side hustle, and a night out with friends. Just to wake up and do it all again. While it appears like a healthy influence to work hard on all aspects of your life, it may not be realistic for everyone.
Common concerns
Prioritizing exercise, mental health, and a balanced lifestyle is arguably the best thing one can do for themselves, and this trend might just be the catalyst for overall improved wellbeing. However there are some serious concerns when it comes to what this trend is really promoting. Are girls encouraging the idea of transforming negative aspects of one’s life into positive decisions or parading around an elusive lifestyle? The Michigan Daily’s article, “‘That Girl’ Doesn’t Exist” expresses just how out of reach this lifestyle can be for the average girl. “[They] have access to more resources than the average person, most notably the time and money to not only effectively accomplish all of this in one day, but to also film the entire process and post it on the internet.”
University of Michigan sophomore Adelaide Biegun has specific concerns towards the exercise aspect of this trend. “I like that there is a focus on being active and working out, but I think the trend can be toxic when girls watch these videos and feel like they aren’t doing enough. They might see girls they want to be like and look like, and try to replicate their lifestyle which can be harmful to their mental and physical health.” Indeed, according to an Insider article “What Exercising Does to Your Body and Brain,” “Over-exerting yourself in exercise by doing too much, too fast can lead to injuries, damage your heart and brain and even lead to exercise addiction.” While creators might not consider this effect when producing this type of content, impressionable viewers might take things too far.
Another common critique I noticed when reading the comments on some popular Tik Toks about becoming “that girl” is that it only shows the highlights, leading to unhealthy comparison. “I think it sets unrealistic standards for girls, especially young girls,” says senior from the University of Michigan Ally Zayan. “People only share what they want people to see online. It makes their lives look a lot more fun and interesting than it probably is, which can put a lot of pressure on girls.” While many find the videos inspiring, this can lead to extreme lows. Girls may find themselves comparing their worst moments to influencers’ seemingly perfect lives. One example of how this trend can lead to unhealthy comparison is through the “clean eating” it promotes. Refinery29’s article, “Who Is ‘That Girl’ & Why Is TikTok Obsessed With Her?” highlights the dangers this trend can have on one’s relationship with food. “Some of the women in the videos arguably promote under-eating as an ideal.” While inspiring viewers to take control of their lives and implement healthy habits, most videos don’t take into account outside factors, mental health, and listening to one’s body.
This girl
On TikTok there is also a fair amount of content geared towards the idea that you don’t need to drastically change everything to better yourself. Many content creators put an emphasis on being yourself and doing what is right for you, especially because of the widespread reach Tiktok has. This trend turned lifestyle has influence all over the nation, and Lizzy Wilburn, a sophomore at The New School in New York City who isn’t super active on TikTok, isn’t exempt from videos about becoming “that girl.” She agrees with the sentiment that what works for one might not work for another. “I think it’s good if it encourages people to better themselves but self improvement shouldn’t be a ‘thing.’ Once ‘that girl’ is out are we done with self improvement?” With the rise of advocating for good mental health, creators are trying to make it known that this shouldn’t be a fast track to self-improvement.
Girls looking to put themselves first can take away aspects from these videos to implicate in their life. Adelaide Biegun promotes the idea of a stable routine. “I’ve seen on TikTok, and i real life with my friends, that building a routine can be super beneficial to get a start to the day and have an overall benefit.” She also says it should be filled with actions one genuinely thinks is constructive for them. Brad Brenner from Therapy group of NYC also advocates for the building of a routine. “Routines are essential at every stage of life—from childhood and adolescence to adulthood. They help us cope with change, create healthy habits, improve interpersonal relationships, and reduce stress.” The healthiest thing may not be modeling your whole life off of someone else’s, but taking parts of their routine that inspire you to do what’s good for you.
This and that
Many creators have taken it upon themselves to debunk the idea that you need to have a perfect, impressive, aesthetic morning routine in order to be productive or the best you. Something not commonly expressed in the “that girl” videos that go viral, is the non aesthetic parts of one’s day. Balance is needed in order to build a lifestyle that is viable in the long run. TikToker Natalia Seliger’s video on her thoughts about this trend has over two million views. She urges her viewers not to compare themselves to the people making these videos and focus on your own personal journey. “After a night out, I am still ‘that girl’ because I am listening to my body and letting myself rest while also prioritizing balance.” While it takes effort to make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, balance is important in order to create a sustainable lifestyle. Because balance can mean all sorts of things, it is important to recognize that what works is different for everyone. “The Importance of a Balanced Life” from bhliveactive, stresses this sentiment. “It’s crucial that you find the balance that you enjoy. It is far too easy to think that you are doing everything wrong, and it is even easier to scroll through Instagram or Facebook and compare yourself to others that seem to live the perfect healthy lifestyle.”
The premise of being “that girl” is valuable. The whole point is to do things that are inherently good for you while balancing life. However the aestheticism of each video and post is counterintuitive. While by nature trends like this can act as the beginning steps to really taking care of yourself and prioritizing your mental health, viewers must be careful not to follow this trend for the wrong reasons. The attractive videos draw people to want to try and incorporate positive aspects into their day to day routine, but it’s dangerous when they are too fabricated, ultimately leading viewers to be let down by their own attempt. Creating a routine and prioritizing balance is the only tip that girls should take away from this trend.
Feature photo, organized desk; Photo Credit, Marissa Grootes via Unsplash